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5 Ways to Elevate Your EQ for Authentic Personal Growth

Updated: Sep 8, 2022


“Self-awareness is what enables you to translate the insights from an assessment into action. Self-awareness is getting to know yourself, moment by moment. Self-awareness is knowing what you are thinking while you think it and what you are feeling when you feel it. It’s the ability to keep your values in mind at all times. Self-awareness is the ability to monitor yourself so you can manage yourself accordingly.” R. Hougaard & J. Carter. The Mind of a Leader

Emotional intelligence helps us to commit to the people in our lives. Whether personally or professionally, we impact and influence people. So how do we lean into our relationships for more success? How do we create more winning scenarios for everyone? And how do we not sacrifice our work-life balance in the process?

Here are five considerations to refocus on the areas that you value:

In Dr. Fred's blog, he wrote, "Work-life balance is a place of integrity." Here's how I think about integrity. I may not get to choose when I die. I may not get to decide how I die. But, I do get to choose who I am when I die. AND every day, I'm reinforcing that choice. My life has a trajectory. Integrity is all about that trajectory. Integrity provides the guardrails necessary to live on purpose each day.

Every day is a gift. Every day is filled with blessings. Your time, energy, relationships, skills, and talents are beautiful areas of your life. You get to choose how to use them. You also impact the way others use theirs. Do you steward these areas of your life? Do you look forward to maximizing these areas in the lives of others?

The clearer I am about who I am and who I want to be, the more proactive I can be in my decisions. And the easier it becomes to avoid being reactionary. A reactionary life fuels bitterness. A reactionary life chooses fear as its guiding story rather than purpose. Becoming proactive requires integrity and stewardship, but it also relies on precise expectations of yourself and others. These factors all rely on positive accountability.

You have them. The leaders around you have them. Your family has them. People who love you have them. However, we do not always communicate them clearly or often. Expectations guide your actions and your intentions. It's necessary to have uncomfortable conversations that accelerate trust rather than keeping those feelings hidden. When will we have those awkward conversations? If you don't have them, you will not be proactive, and you will not change.

Purpose undergirds everything I have described. What does it look like to live on purpose? There is peace; there is joy; there is meaning. It's not about the number of hours you work. It's not about when you turn your phone off. The best decisions are those that are anchored by purpose. You become a giver and not a taker when you're on purpose. You become tethered to the people around you in ways that promote success and health. You become more aware of your feelings and the feelings, frustrations, hopes, and dreams of others.

Striking a balance is difficult. We have a finite amount of time and energy to utilize each day. As a result, what we spend our time doing should ultimately bring meaning and fulfillment to our lives. What we give our attention to each day often correlates to what we love, so giving our time to our work should fuel our purpose, as should our time with family, friends, or serving our community.

Consider these five things. Pick one or two and have a conversation. Identify a healthy step forward in one of these areas and take the step.


Don't miss out on our next Think Tank! Leadership is undoubtedly about you, but it's never just about you. Leaders inherently impact the people around them. Will you draw people toward their best, most healthy selves?


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